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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 12:11:57 GMT -5
After an annoying bounty, Zeno always liked to come back to F.U.B.A.R. Inc. and head off to get a drink at the Third Strike Bar. He always got happy when he got to drink and laugh at people.
So, he stepped into the bar, and immediately noticed a friend of his sitting at the bar. He smiled and lit the cigarette hanging from his mouth, before walking up to the man, sitting down next to him and ordering a beer.
"Heey, Alex! Long time no see!" he said as he slapped the man on the back. He was dressed in combat boots and camo cargo pants. His upper body was bare, to show off his muscles. Alex groaned when he saw Zeno.
"Uh, Zeno... Go away..."
"Oh, come on, don't be that way, I'll buy you a drink," Zeno said, and Alex shook his head.
"Zeno, trust me, you don't want to be here with us... freaks! The unwanted, the unloved!"
Zeno realized that Alex was in one of his moods, where he'd had too much to drink, and just got depressing. "Alex, I-"
"Look around you, man!" Alex exclaimed his bloodshot eyes glaring into Zeno's own, one of them bigger than the other. It was twitching dangerously. "Feast your eyes on despair incarnate!"
"Alex," Zeno started, but then saw someone else step into the bar. Happy to now have someone to talk to, he pushed Alex off his seat. "Piss off, Alex. Make room for my friend! Hey, Slappy Tits!" he yelled, waving at Sloth. "Get over here!"
Alex growled as he got up and stumbled away. "I'll get you one day, Zeno," he whispered to himself. "I'll get you..."
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Post by sloth on May 5, 2010 12:20:50 GMT -5
Sloth watched the man named Alex walk away before he reached Zeno.
"I told you before, Zeno. It's Sloth. You know, like the lazy animal?" Sloth said, sitting down. He looked at the bartender as he took off his helmet.
"I'll take a Guinness, please." Sloth said. The bartender nodded and filled up a glass. He handed the glass of Irish beer to Sloth, who thanked him.
"Who was that guy back there?" Sloth asked, sipping his beer.
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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 12:36:06 GMT -5
"I told you before, Zeno. It's Sloth. You know, like the lazy animal?"
"But Slappy Tits sounds dirtier," was Zeno's defense for the use of that name. He snickered at the name, while Sloth ordered a beer.
"Who was that guy back there?"
"Oh, that's just Alex. He was recruited around 12 years ago, and lost his testicles in an explosion," Zeno explained as he sipped his beer. "The psychological trauma was too much for him, and he couldn't leave to collect bounties anymore. Now, he just sits here all day long, preaching about how miserable his life is."
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Post by sloth on May 5, 2010 12:53:18 GMT -5
Sloth winced. That was no way for a man to go down, his balls obliterated. Not even for the most evil of men. A rapist or a child molester, maybe, but those are the only exceptions. Sloth shook his head. He took a sip of his beer and looked over at his helmet.
"You know, in all my years as a bounty hunter, I've never seen someone survive an explosion only to find their balls obliterated."
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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 12:59:20 GMT -5
"You know, in all my years as a bounty hunter, I've never seen someone survive an explosion only to find their balls obliterated."
"Neither had I," Zeno said as he looked around. "None of us want to ask him how it happened. Too personal, you know?" he said and looked at Sloth.
"I heard you've been pretty busy, Slappy Tits. Have you come to this place before?"
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Post by sloth on May 5, 2010 13:10:22 GMT -5
"I heard you've been pretty busy, Slappy Tits. Have you come to this place before?"
Sloth sipped his beer. "I've come here once or twice in my time here. But I usually stick with coffee." Sloth said, sipping his beer again.
"I've heard you've been taking quite a few jobs lately, Z. What's up with that?" Sloth asked, looking at the cowboy.
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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 13:13:47 GMT -5
"I've heard you've been taking quite a few jobs lately, Z. What's up with that?"
"I always take plenty of jobs," Zeno said as he shrugged. "I get bored easily. So I-" He stopped suddenly as he looked towards the doorway, to see a man who looked to be in his 50's walk in. His right arm was like rubber, just hanging there limply.
"Hey, Ben! How's it hanging?!" Zeno asked, then laughed loudly, while Ben sent him a glare.
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Post by sloth on May 5, 2010 13:20:11 GMT -5
Sloth turned around and raised an eyebrow.
"What's with your arm?" Sloth asked the man. He was curious as to why his arm was limp. It's not everyday he met someone like this, and he liked to know things. Knowing is half the battle, as said by some fictional character he couldn't remember.
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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 13:25:29 GMT -5
Ben ignored Sloth's question and just walked on, sitting down at a table in the back.
"That's Ben," Zeno said. "He has a fear of cybernetics, and refused to use it after he'd had the bones in his arm removed on a mission. He came back, and just a week later, people had started calling him Limp Dick Ben, or LD Ben." He sighed. "It's a tragic tale."
He looked over at Ben again. The man was just staring at the wall, not even blinking. "Now he just sits there, staring at the wall. Some say he's trying to grow the bones in his arm back, but that's just ridiculous."
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Post by sloth on May 5, 2010 13:37:37 GMT -5
Sloth looked over at Zeno.
"So if I showed him my hands, he would freak?" Sloth asked, taking off his gloves. His cybernetic hands looked to be reinforced, to help with his fighting style, which required lightning fast strikes to be effective.
"Or would he just ignore it?"
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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 13:57:58 GMT -5
"So if I showed him my hands, he would freak? Or would he just ignore it?"
"Not when he's like that," Zeno said, nodding his head in Ben's direction. Ben was still staring at the wall, unblinking. "And then we have Jim-15."
Zeno jutted his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at a black clad man sitting at another table. He was incredibly skinny, looking like he literally was just skin and bones.
"He was a military experiment, the ideal super soldier. Then, the drug they gave him reacted violently, only shortly after he was recruited by us. His flesh and muscles started rotting and-"
Zeno stopped when Jim-15 suddenly jerked, and threw up over his table. Zeno sighed. "-and he started throwing that shit up all over the place."
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Post by sloth on May 5, 2010 20:50:48 GMT -5
Sloth's eyebrow remained raised, looking over at Jim-15. Super Soldier, huh? That would explain the decomposing flesh and muscle tissue. The drugs, the stimulants, the alterations made to a Super Soldier's biology are extremely effective... if they work, that is.
"Well, from looking at him, he's been injected with Solidusnecroxin-77, an extremely effective stimulant. But, as the name implies, has a couple of side effects, such as minor necrosis. However, when the body rejects the drug, the necrosis accelerates at a frightening speed. However, Jim-15 seems to have some sort of... block, in the process. His body, while rejecting the drug, has somehow adapted certain pieces of it to adapt his body to various factors. But the crap he's throwing up, however, I cannot ascertain. But last time I check, in my world, SN-77 was from a book, pure fiction."
Sloth looked over at Zeno. "He's basically half-zombie, half human." Sloth said. He finished his Guinness and pushed the glass forward.
"As for how I know of what drug he was injected with... Well, I like to read. Mike and Shaun also have me test things for them."
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Post by Zeno on May 5, 2010 21:52:19 GMT -5
Zeno listened to Sloth's explanation, but didn't really care. All he knew was that Jim-15 threw up a lot, and it was fucking disgusting.
As Jim-15 threw up again, Zeno turned and glared at him. "Knock that shit off, Jim! It's fucking disgusting, and you should just curl into a ball and die!"
Even though Jim-15 was weak as hell right now, he still managed to raise his hand and flip Zeno off.
Zeno grumbled under his breath as he turned back to his beer. "Fucking super soldiers..."
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Post by sloth on May 6, 2010 19:26:13 GMT -5
Sloth simply shrugged. He wasn't bothered by regurgitation. He had to train rookie SWAT members so hard they vomited too. On a regular basis, no less. Maybe it was because he put that something-something in their water. Ah well. Sloth looked at the bartender.
"I'll have the biggest cup of coffee you have, please. Gotta get the Guinness off my breath." Sloth reasoned. The Bartender shrugged and started brewing a pot of coffee. Sloth looked around the bar, and thought of something that was not like him, no, not at all.
"We should start a bar fight... after my coffee." Sloth said, before turning around and finding a makeshift glass made out of an old coffee pot. He paid the bartender fifty credits, a minimal fee from his last job and more than what both drinks were worth put together. Sloth grinned as he picked up his glass.
"It's coffee time! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee! Cappuccino, java, YES!"
Sloth gulped at the burning black fluid for a full minute before setting the glass on the counter, half full.
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Post by Zeno on May 6, 2010 19:46:25 GMT -5
"We should start a bar fight... after my coffee."
"Don't even try, Slappy Tits," Zeno said calmly as he sipped his beer. "You'll get kicked out and fired faster than I can draw my revolver."
"It's coffee time! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee! Cappuccino, java, YES!" Zeno watched as Sloth drank his coffee, and shook his head with a sigh.
"Yeah, you'll be fired in no time. You'll fit right in here, Slappy Tits."
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